NOTE: Understanding this rant requires at least a basic understanding of philosophy and determinism. You have been warned.

I've been mulling if over for a while now, and I've come to the conclusion that, if God exists, he takes some kind of perverse pleasure in watching us try to figure out what to do in life. For this rant, we'll just assume that God exists. Whether this is true or not is a discussion for a different time and place.

Anyway, if God actually exists, then determinism almost assuredly is also true. That is, he must have some kind of plan for the universe and there's nothing that we can do to upset this plan. After all, the Judeo-Christian God (i.e. all-powerful, all-knowing, and all-good) wouldn't be all-knowing if any Joe Jack Cyrus in Kentucky were able to do something that he couldn't predict (and therefore already have planned out). Further, he wouldn't be all-powerful if he weren't able to control everything that went on in the universe.

So if all of our actions are already predetermined from the moment we're born, then nothing we do in life has any meaning, and there could never be any consequences for anything we do. Suppose I just snap and go on a killing spree, then get sent to the electric chair. God couldn't possibly punish me by sending me to hell because it was his fault I went on the murderous rampage. I mean, you wouldn't punish someone for doing an illegal act if someone had a gun pointed at their head, would you? The person who broke the law had no choice, just like we have no choice in what we do if God exists.

Likewise, God couldn't justifiably send a "good" person to heaven because it would have been impossible for him to do anything that was outside of the master plan. You might say that we have a free will, and that we can choose to do evil things any time we want, but how do you know that's not part of the plan? For people who live perfectly good lives, how do you know it just wasn't part of the plan for them to live in such a way? Rewarding these so-called "good" people is like hypnotizing someone, telling him to do something good, and then rewarding him when he comes out of the trance. It just ain't fair.

Now, suppose that God did sent me to hell for killing all those people. Then he wouldn't be all-good either, because he'd be sentencing an innocent person to infinite torture. Therefore, we wouldn't be justified in believing the bible when it says God is merciful and all that bull. And if the bible isn't even right when it comes to the basic nature of God, how can we be expected to believe anything else in there? Hell, for all we know, God might just be messing with us. At least that would explain all the contradictions. After all, as a great man once said, "Could Jesus microwave a burrito so hot even he couldn't eat it?"

Moving along, I'd like to touch briefly on the subject of prayer. If God exists, and therefore so does determinism, then what's the point of praying? If there's some kind of master plan for the universe, don't you think it's a little pompous to expect God to change it willy-nilly whenever you want to do well on a test/get laid/cure your horrible sickness? What do you matter in the full scheme of things? NOTHING, that's what. Besides, how do you know that you flunking the test/staying a loser/remaining a cripple isn't going to somehow prevent the future rise of the next Hitler? If that's the case, imagine what would happen if God did listen to you: genocide, world war, and nuclear holocaust. Not only are you pompous, you're also evil!

NOTE: If this offends anyone, don't blame me, blame God. He made me say it, after all.