Knowing you're better than everyone is the most basic tenet of being arrogant, and it's from which all other rules spring. This might seem like the most obvious rule to follow, but a lot of people do it incorrectly. They only half-heartedly think that they're better than everyone else, and thus they have doubts in their minds. This cannot do. To be truly arrogant, you must really believe that no one is better than you. You're the cock of the walk. The king of the hill. The butter on your pancakes (er, let's not go there...). You have to be able to look at random people on the street and just sneer at them. Who are they to walk around like that? If only they knew how they were scum.

At first, it might seem overwhelming to look down on everyone, so start small. Pick one or two specific groups of people and focus on disliking them. Preps, jocks, goths, and nerds are all good examples of groups of like people who you can easily make fun of to elevate your own self-esteem. And when you make fun of them, make sure that you point out ways in which they are automatons and you are an individual. "Those preppies always wear the same clothes: Abercrombie pants and a North Face jacket. I wear stuff I bought at Target, so I must be better than them because Target doesn't put its logo in the middle of their shirts!"

Regardless of if you heard them perfectly, always make someone repeat their question to you. This shows them how you're above their earthly questions and cannot be bothered with such mundane, mortal things. Additionally, when you finally do answer the question, give a sigh and a slight wave of your hand. This indicates how the question bores you and is inconsequential. Basically, the point of this charade is to make the person asking the questions feel bad so that they won't ask you questions again, which is exactly what you want. Why on earth would you ever want someone inferior to you asking you dumb questions?

(Editor's note: smirking and/or chuckling is an acceptable alternative to the sigh/hand-wave combo.)

If you think that making homemade movies with your two friends on a hand-held video camera is cool, you'll be damned before anyone else tells you otherwise. Others might think you're a loser, but fortunately for you, you know that you're not the loser. They are.

Basically, never let anyone change your mind. They're obviously intolerant and closed-minded if they think that they can trick you into changing. You know better than this. Stick to your guns and never change with the times. After all, things were a lot more simple a long time ago. Change only mucks things up. Don't fall for this trick. If someone tells you to grow up, respond by telling him that he's a clone and can't think for himself. This is also a good opportunity to add in a quick insult about the person's appearance, again drawing out the differences between your appearance and his. "Nice haircut there, shaggy! I especially like how you don't even bother to comb it and make it look perfect after you have a shower. What a waste of money at the hair stylist, jackass!"

Similar to the previous rule of thumb, you must always remember to make fun of people who do things that you consider to be "immoral." What exactly is immoral, you wonder? Why, everything you don't do. Don't drink? Then call people who do "drunkards." Don't eat meat? Then the people who do are obviously murderers and need to be told so. Can't get a date to save your life? Become a misogynist (if you're a guy) or a man-hater (if you're a girl) and call people of the opposite sex things like "slut," "pig," and "irrational spawn of hell." If by some chance you're an in-the-closet homosexual, this makes it even easier to hate members of the opposite sex. They drove you to this, after all.

If you live in a house or apartment with other people, make sure that you never clean up after yourself or go out of your way to make their lives easier in any way. Just because you use the bathroom like everyone else doesn't mean you have to clean it. Same thing with plates and glasses: it doesn't matter if you leave them out, uncleaned, because eventually one of your roommates will cave in and clean them for you. This will require an iron constitution and it greatly tests your will power, but you'll be better off for it in the long run because this will give you the extra time you need to aimlessly surf the internet and make your dumb movies. And, like with everything else, if someone asks you to help out, either make fun of them or simply ignore them. You're better than them, dammit, and it's about time they learned this!