Anyway...

So I was thinking today, "American Idol sure is a great reality show, but how come they don't have shows like that for things besides singing?" I thought about this for a while and I came to the conclusion that there's no reason why there can't be successful reality shows that take off of the American Idol concept of making fun of morons and incompetents.

The first new show I thought of would be called American Firefighter. In this post-9-11 world we're living in where firefighting is revered as patriotic and heroic, wouldn't it be great to help out our brave local firefighters in this time of deficits and lowered spending on social programs? Basically, the concept of American Firefighter is this: go around the country and let people "audition" to be a professional firefighter. They'd work in teams and have to go through the same training program that real firefighters go through--only these guys would be amateurs and completely unprepared for the rigors of the training course!

The best part of American Idol is when all these pathetic morons who sound like dying cats go up there and pretend to be the next Janet Jackson, only to get laughed off the stage by the three jerk judges. Well, wouldn't it be equally--nay, more--exciting to watch someone incompetent go into a burning building and fail miserably? I know I'd get a kick out of seeing someone crashing out of a window, covered in flames and screaming like a girl. Eventually, the joke contestants would be whittled away and we'd end up with a fierce competition between two highly skilled people, each vying to be the next American Firefighter. Basically, the winner would be decided after both go through a rigorous training regime, and then the viewers at home would call in (and at $1.99 per minute, no less) to vote on who they think should win. Whoever loses the viewer vote is then ceremoniously set on fire and dropped from a bridge into a river. It's the perfect "red-hot" ending!