I speak, of course, of trash like PBS' Newshour with Jim Lehrer, and it must be stopped.

What, does PBS think viewers want to be stimulated intellectually? Of course not! We demand to see T&A, beer, stupid people, and explosions, not insightful commentary, no commercials, intelligent guests, and talking! C'mon, if we really wanted crap like what PBS is putting on the air, we'd actually watch it, right? And are we watching it? Hell no! Instead, America is watching shows that actually matter, that really make a difference in their lives, as evidenced by the 37 million people who tuned in to watch the Friends Clipshow Special and the 90 million of so people who tune in each week to watch reality shows.

Ah yes, Reality Show, my good friend, it's nice to see you doing so well for yourself still.

And since it's obvious that reality shows are still going strong, there will always be a need for more of them! This is where I come in and offer my unsolicitated opinions and insights, and introduce ideas for new shows. Would I like to do it for a living? Sure, but I do it for free because, like all of you I'm sure, I am a lover of reality shows and simply want to see more and more and more and more of them in the future. And so I present to you all my latest conception, called Push the Button!

Have you ever been told, by your conscience or by someone else, not to do something, but, against your better judgment you did it anyway? Of course you have. You're weak-willed and easy to manipulate; otherwise you wouldn't watch reality shows. Well, this idea will be put to the test in Push the Button, as someone will be placed in a room empty except for a single red button in the center. We're not gonna tell the person what the button does, but we'll be sure to explicitly tell him not to push it under any circumstances. If the person pushes the button, he is disqualified and another person is brought in and put in an identical situation. There will be 5-10 contestants, and whoever can go the longest without giving in and pushing the button will be declared the winner. The catch is we won't tell them that's how you win. In fact, we won't tell them anything at all, except that they're not to push the button! This is keep contestants guessing and allows for some really good drama as viewers watch them sweat it out, trying to figure out what to do. If the first season is a hit, then season two will introduce team-based challenges, which will be compelling because it will allow for extra tensions and arguments among teammates.

Honestly, I don't understand why I offer these ideas for free, since I'm sure the networks would be lining up to buy them from me otherwise. Oh well, it's nice to give back to the community every once-in-a-while. So just sit back and enjoy the ever-growing number of quality reality shows, and I'll do my best to continue creating more and more and more and more of them.

Cheers!